Like the previous years, Brian and I went skiing to the same place we always go to. We took a private session with the same instructor we had before. As a side, it made me realise how important a good teacher is for learning, thinking differently and for experiencing joy in the activity.
 
On multiple occasions the instructor told me to straighten and relax my arms more and to keep them closer to the torso using minimum effort for the turns. He named my rather ungraceful position "The Wrestler". It totally made me laugh and of course it reflects the way I often wrestle with life instead of being at ease and trusting the process. It's fascinating that how we do one thing, we do everything. My personal intent for 2020 is to be more at ease and not to wrestle on my skis or in life.
 
Walk in beauty and with ease
Sandra  ​

Last weekend I taught a three day continuous education programme for yoga teachers. One of the emerging statements, which had a lot of gravity, was: "the middle is difficult".  
 
Throughout this week I have been feeling that this is so true for many people including myself. It's easy to move one way or another. The middle ground is so much more difficult, since it requires feeling into the body a lot more. Going to one extreme or another does not require sensing into the body; these responses are often more habitual and guided by our head and ultimately seeking some sense of control. Being German I like things to be neat, black and white and generally I enjoy order. It's however in the less defined areas, in the grey ones where we can find the most growth and a lot of creativity - and most importantly a sense of contentment and equilibrium.
 
Hang out in the beautiful middle!
Sandra  ​

As we are transitioning into autumn with the weather starting to change and the nights drawing in, I feel it's a good time to reflect on what we can let go of. In the four directions, a ceremony we do in Forrest Yoga, autumn is placed in the West. It's the location of where the sun goes down, where things come to an end and also where death resides. It's the season where the trees shed their leaves and prepare for winter. It's the season of letting go.
 
I've started to read Marie Kondo's book "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying". The author suggests that the first step in tidying is to "discard" and the criteria to choose whether to discard an item or not is: "Does this spark joy?". It's so simple and yet so profound. She says that if an item sparks joy, keep it, if it doesn't, throw it away. One of the ongoing learnings for me is to make my life simpler and I'm very excited and curious about applying this principle to more areas of my life.
 
What is it in your life that you can let go of? What does not spark joy in your life?
 
Tidy in beauty.
Sandra

This Sunday I'm turning 40 years old. As much as I don't see it as a turning point, I very much perceive it as a distinct marker. I've been contemplating a lot about the number 4 and what it means to me at this stage in my life. Coincidentally, my husband and I also had our 4th wedding anniversary on the 1st of May of this year. The number 4 is the number of completion - of full circle. There are four directions, four seasons, four phases in the moon. It symbolises arriving and a strong foundation.
 
After the teacher training in Peterborough, I taught workshops and then went on holidays in South Africa. It always takes me a while to step out of work mode and to arrive at a quieter space in myself where I'm more connected to nature and myself. Initially, the space caused me anxiety, before a deep sense of peace opened up for me. In that moment, I realised that at times in very subtle ways I'm feeling like a victim; I feel that something is imposed on me and I have to react to it without having a real choice.

​On a very mundane level, this is how I handle emails. I feel that they are just coming in without me having any control over it; becoming a victim to technology. When my therapist suggested that I don't check my emails for several days and just let the out of office message do its work, I nearly had a heart attack, but I gave it a go. It was the most liberating experience and it deeply shifted something in me. I did not feel that there was this invasion of my space, but when I sat down to reply to emails and work my way through my inbox, I actually felt ready to do that - with a sense of inner authority and agency. Not surprisingly I was also more efficient at it. It had a profound experience on me moving me out of the victim to a place where I could stay connected to myself, have a sense of authority and stay in a calm place even when outer things were chaotic.
 
I have now decided to give myself a gift for my 40th birthday: no emails on two days of the week and additionally be more mindful not to check my emails twenty or thirty times a day, but to decide when I'm in a good enough space and have the time to actually answer them. I feel that this a very important, even though seemingly small, step to arriving more fully in myself.
 
Walk in beauty!
Sandra

I have written about the experience of overwhelm in the last blog, but I've been very compelled to write some more about it, because it is something that is so prevalent in myself and also in the people I work with.
 
Last week the first half of the Forrest Yoga Teacher Training finished and one of the things I always tell trainees at the end is to leave enough space to digest the content and the experiences of the programme. Often, the tendency is to get back home and into a routine as quickly as possible. There is no downtime or in body psychotherapy terms there is no "downswing". The nervous is continually fired up without chance for the body to actually absorb what has been learned and experienced. There is not enough space to absorb fully and get nourished. Creating space and keeping that space is something I continually have to pay attention to. It is not something that comes natural to me.  
 
As one of the people I work with very aptly said:  

Over Christmas and New Year my parents kindly invited our family to go skiing. My mum also generously paid for some private skiing lessons. I decided to go back to the instructor I had some lessons with the previous year. He's an excellent instructor and able to see very clearly and deeply not just how I ski, but also how I live my life. It's amazing how accurate the following principle is: How we do one thing, we do everything.  
 
The instructor told me to let the snow take me somewhere without going completely passive. He observed that I force my skiing and that I like to be in control. I have been thinking about this a lot. How can I let life take me somewhere without forcing matters and without giving up altogether or going completely passive? On the slopes, when I manage to let the snow take me somewhere, the feeling is one of cooperation and collaboration, which is coupled with a sense of deep connection; it is about the skill, but it's also about the mountain and the snow. It's about working together, trusting and not fighting against what is. The skiing then becomes effortless, fluid and joyful.
 
I very strongly feel that it is the same in life. When we let life take us somewhere and we participate actively in the process, it becomes effortless and meaningful. I'll invite you to do just that: Cooperate with life, let it take you somewhere and let go of some of the control and the need to force things.
 
Walk with ease, joy and beauty into 2019.