Like the previous years, Brian and I went skiing to the same place we always go to. We took a private session with the same instructor we had before. As a side, it made me realise how important a good teacher is for learning, thinking differently and for experiencing joy in the activity.
 
On multiple occasions the instructor told me to straighten and relax my arms more and to keep them closer to the torso using minimum effort for the turns. He named my rather ungraceful position "The Wrestler". It totally made me laugh and of course it reflects the way I often wrestle with life instead of being at ease and trusting the process. It's fascinating that how we do one thing, we do everything. My personal intent for 2020 is to be more at ease and not to wrestle on my skis or in life.
 
Walk in beauty and with ease
Sandra  ​

In Ana Forrest's book "Fierce Medicine", she talks in the first chapter about her "fear training", i.e. she would deliberately do things that she was afraid of. She came to the conclusion that even though it was not possible to banish all her fears, she was able to make a choice to not allow them to rule her life.
 
When I was on holidays last week at the lake in Northern France where we always go, my 65 year old father did a backward somersault into the water. I remembered how I used to do this as a child. So, I decided to get up on the platform, which was about one meter of the water - with my back facing the lake. I could sense the fear; it almost made my head spin.

​ I first just jumped backwards into the water feet first and then did a couple of backward rolls in the water. Then I went back onto the platform and I stood there - very scared. I was feeling the fear in my entire body and there was a sense of paralysis and indecision creeping up on me, which in some respect was a great motivation for me.

I completely understand Ana's decision not to allow fear to rule her life, so I connected to my legs and feet, took several deep breaths, pushed off and did a backward somersault. It was not the kind that earns you points at gymnastics. It was definitely not pretty, but it was totally and utterly exhilarating. It was not about being able to do a somersault, which did not alter my life, it was about doing something that I'm very scared of. I felt the fear and did it anyways. In my mind possibilities opened up, I felt empowered.
 
Ana's steps to walking through the "spook zone":

1. Identify the fear
2. Turn around, hunt it, stalk it
3. Stop making decisions based on fear
4. Find the healing within the fear
5. Snuggle up to your fear

 
... and do the somersault anyways.
 
Somersault in beauty
Sandra