Last weekend I went on a CPD course for Body Psychotherapy and we looked at aversion, attraction and conscious goals. The movement and feeling that helped me to understand how to bring forward more of myself when setting goals was the feeling of being pregnant. My belly was loose, my hips were open and there was a sense that I was taking my weight more into my heels than into the balls of my feet.

My shoulders were relaxed and I was swaying from side to side while at the same time rubbing my belly. It had a soothing effect on me, which is quite the opposite of how I normally approach my goals: wanting to attack it, get on with it and be generally quite cut off from myself while at the same time being totally focused on what needs to be done.

​The swaying movement with loose hips and belly was a reminder about the natural process and incubation time of ideas, goals and life in general. The person I was working with remarked: “The pregnant woman does not need to go and find the baby. The baby is within her.” This felt incredibly profound and eye-opening to me. I did not have to search for the wisdom, the ideas and goals, but they were actually already within me. I just need to allow life to flow through me.
 
I would like to encourage you to find your own movement that helps you to bring more of yourself into life and into the way you approach your goals and visions in life, so that whatever you're doing is coming from within you and is an extension of your authentic self. 

After having handed in all my course work for my Body Psychotherapy course last month, I'm about to have my last weekend with my group in Cambridge. I've felt for the last three months that I've been in a state of major transitions where endings are very prevalent.

I'm finishing my course after five years of training, I'm ending my relationship as it is now with my psychotherapist whom I've seen for six year and I'm redefining my work. However, I'm not very good with endings and tend to move on to other things very quickly. I normally don't allow myself to feel what happens in that space where I need to let go of something, as I am too busy to plan my next project.

Endings can be very painful and often feel uncomfortable. I feel more at home with beginnings and going deeper, but I have a harder time to create space around when courses, projects, relationships, etc. finish.  
 
My intent is to stay in feeling during this important period of transition, as I know that being spacious around endings is absolutely vital to live an authentic life and to be able to honestly connect to the people and the environment around me.

After five years of training, the final deadline for my body psychotherapy course is the 13th of June where I need to hand in documentation about my training, two case studies and an essay about what creates suffering and what aids healing.

I have been thinking a lot about this theme and for me it is the disconnect from ourselves that brings about suffering. When we can't be ourselves and we try to become somebody different, we suffer. In other words when we are not embodying our spirit, problems arise.

We often try so hard to be different - look differently, behave differently and ultimately be different. However, we can only be ourselves and if we can be invested more fully in our current situation and wholeheartedly accept and see reality as it is including our faults and mistakes, we can find some peace and balance in our lives.
 
Allow yourself to let go into who you are.

In addition to my own personal psychotherapy, I have been going to supervision regularly to have a sounding board for what I am doing professionally and in order to clarify the direction of my work. During my last session my supervisor summarised the core question I am facing: "Is what you do feeding your soul or is it feeding your personality?"

I don't think that they are mutually exclusive, but the priority needs to be with feeding the soul rather than the ego. When we are concentrating on bolstering our personality, we are creating more layers of protection to shield us from the outside world, which can be sometimes disappointing and very hurtful. In short, we are creating an image - often also with the aim to compensate for other parts of ourselves that are less integrated.

When we focus on feeding our soul we look for the things in our lives that give us more aliveness, more vitality and more connection. We are being creative and look to express who we are rather than whom we think we should be.  
Maybe next time you are facing a decision, ask yourself: Is this feeding my soul or is this feeding my personality? 

Yoga is a physical practice that accesses the emotions through the body with the assumption that the two can't be separated. Emotional processing is an integral part of our journey towards healing and wholeness. I have been drawing more and more on body psycho-therapeutic principles that are in line with yoga in order to help and promote this aspect of yoga.

As part of my Body Psychotherapy course in Cambridge I have been looking at different traditions of psychotherapy and I have come across this incredible prayer created by Dr. Fritz Perls - the founder of Gestalt therapy:

(Fritz Perls, "Gestalt Therapy Verbatim", 1969)

It resonates deeply with me and I hope it does with you, too.