​Brene Brown in her book "Rising Strong" talks about comparison as the killer of joy and creativity and I could not agree more. Endless hours of social media often leave me in a place of confusion, doubt and exhaustion. Part of my commitment to myself is therefore to limit my hours on social media platforms and become aware when I'm moving into comparing myself with others, highlighting other people's achievements, undermining mine and feeling therefore not good enough. I'd like to stress that this has nothing to do with what other people post; it's about my own process. The internal feeling is "I need to do more" and I experience it as a constriction in my chest and frequently my throat. It's in those moments if I can catch myself, be with the direct experience in the body and get out of the story, things shift. What has helped me before is to remind myself to "swim in my own lane", which is an expression Brene Brown coined. She uses swimming for joy and meditation. However in the past, when she synced her strokes with the person next to her, she almost injured herself. Swimming in my own lane for me means feeling into the questions of: What do I need? What brings me joy? What is my own rhythm of life? As a community, we connect through our similarities, but we thrive by making room for our differences. I invite you to make room for your own differences, have your own back and follow your own path. There is no blue print on how to move through these times right now. Be guided by your own feeling and intuition, be inspired by people around you, but stay away from comparing. 
 
We'd like to offer a free recording for this week again. With these free recordings we hope to support people who are financially in a difficult place right now and can't afford to come to live sessions or sign up for our recordings. But of course, it's for the enjoyment of everybody. Thank you Marta for your generosity in providing this class.

​Words and concepts that have been coming up over the last couple of week are: balance, paradox, juxtaposition, polar opposites, integration and abandonment. They are all qualities of the fourth chakra, the heart chakra, which is the middle point and the centre of the chakra system. Interestingly, on a physical level this chakra includes the heart and the lungs. According to Anodea Judith (Eastern Body, Western Mind), in the heart chakra we continue our individuation, i.e. our journey of finding ourselves and becoming who we are, by developing balance of the inner female and male, anima and animus. This is less about gender than about opposites forces that are residing in each of us. We all carry paradoxes: On the one hand we might want to really come out of the lock down, on the other hand, we might be scared of and tread it. Instead of needing to choose one over the other, Anodea Judith suggests that "the more we allow one kind of energy, the more the other can come through". It's not about either looking forward to OR being scared of it, it's about looking forward to AND being scared of it at the same time. Both are true and the work is to make room for the paradox, in that sense widening our identity and not abandoning parts of ourselves.
 
Thank you all who contributed to these reflections.
 
We hope that yoga enables you to expand and contain seemingly opposing aspects of yourself. Here is a free recording - thanks to Janet's generosity.  

​Gestalt therapy talks about the paradox of change, which at its core says that change only truly happens when we are fully invested in what is. The moment we push away our experiences and feelings and wish for things to be different, lasting transformation is elusive. This week I have witnessed beautiful examples in my clients and also in myself when there was a letting go and accepting of the moment, often a difficult reality, and how feelings and sensations organically shifted into the opposite direction.  
 
By allowing the dark, the light appears. By feeling the pain, excitement enters. By admitting the sadness, hope comes in. Sometimes, the sense is that when we do yoga, meditate or do other mindfulness practices, difficult feelings should not appear. Actually, all these tools help us to relate to what is happening differently, so that we can hang out in the present moment without running away or drowning in the experience. When we can be present with what is, shifts occur and lasting change surfaces - organically and sustainably. Whatever is arising is part of the process and it's pointing us in the direction of our next step. It's not something to get rid of, but something to pay attention to. It's about staying with the direct and immediate experience of what's going on.
 
In that way, we hope you will be able to use yoga as a practice for true transformation. Enjoy this free session from us. Thank you Kate F. for making this possible: 
 
Free Recording of Live Streamed Class 

​We hope that you and your loved ones are healthy and safe.  
 
I have done a lot of decluttering during the last four weeks. I'm a huge fan of Marie Kondo and just like she says: Once you declutter and tidy, you understand what is important in your life or what changes need to be made. After the clearing process, my triggers around not doing enough especially when it comes to owning and managing a studio have been staring into my face. There are also huge inadequacies around teaching and offering body psychotherapy. When I'm triggered or in psychotherapy terms when I'm in transference, it's like going down the rabbit hole. It has many complicated stages, thought processes, diversions, painful emotions, etc. Most of it is made up and old story. When reading Sharon Salzberg's Real Happiness, which is on the Forrest Yoga booklist, the following jumped out at me: the process is about starting again and again and again. The moment I want to go down the rabbit hole, it's about recognising it, being gentle with myself and then choosing not to go down there - again and again and again. Even though the rabbit hole might feel familiar, seemingly safe, diverting and somewhat comforting, it's not serving me. It has in the past, but not any longer. This is not about eliminating the rabbit hole either, it's about recognising earlier when I'm about to go down there.
 
I love the following paragraph out of Alice in Wonderland:
 
"... suddenly a white rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her. There was nothing so very remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so very much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, "Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!" (when she thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural);...."
 
It's about catching the rabbit with the waistcoat and the pink eyes earlier and understanding that something is not quite right; something got activated. It's about catching it earlier, looking at it, wondering about it and choosing not to go down the rabbit hole.
​
We hope that the yoga sessions we offer can support you to stay out of the rabbit hole.  
Here is the link to the free class. Thank you Brian for making this possible:  
 
Free Recording of Live Streamed Class 

Whereas guilt can motivate us to do better in the future, shame often is very debilitating and results in us wanting to hide, not be seen and simply disappear. Even though shame is about the fear of disconnection, it actually keeps us imprisoned in the loneliness and isolation. Shame prevents us from talking to one another and thereby making it harder to get out of the spiral. And, we all have shame. Interestingly Brene Brown says that we can't eradicate shame, but we can be resilient to it, i.e. we can go through the experience and come out the other end being stronger and more courageous. Steps in becoming shame resilient are: recognition, awareness, reaching out and talking about it to the appropriate people.
 
My personal experience this week was that I made a mistake and I felt ashamed about it. However, instead of trying to cover it up or try to make excuses, I managed to just fess up to it, feel the guilt around it, feel uncomfortable and sorry, but also know that I'm not a bad person, because of that error of judgment I made. I had my own back in that moment. The way I see the process: It's about snuggling up to the uncomfortable and unspeakable places, becoming aware of them, feeling them and then also speaking about them.
 
My sense is that at the moment, a lot of deeper patterns and injuries are surfacing, accompanied by feelings of shame, anger, frustration and exhaustion. It's easy to move into isolation with that feeling that we are a bad person or that we have not done the work; that there is something wrong with us. I encourage to reach out to people you can trust and who love you and share with them what's going on for you.
 
We feel the live-streamed classes are an opportunity to check in, to connect with one another and to feel less isolated. We also understand that finances might be a concern of yours, so we've made one recording a week available to especially those of you who truly cannot afford a session. For those of you who have the means, recordings are available daily through our website, where regular class rates apply. Even though recordings don't provide the platform to connect as much and you won't get any live and tailored feedback, we hope they are still useful.
 
Here is the link to the free class. Thank you Janet for making this possible:  
 
Free Recording of Live Streamed Class

We've had overwhelming support for our online sessions. Thank you all who took the leap to join.  
 
Clients' feedback has been great, too. People have commented that being in the live online classes had felt almost like being at Equilibrium. You still receive verbal cues and tailored instructions in the sessions. We feel they are the next best thing to being physically at the centres.   
 
Since the announcements one week ago, all online sessions have been broadcast from the teacher's home. Out of this necessity, the issue of the echo has been resolved and the audio improved. Thank you all who contributed to fine tuning the entire experience. We're now muting participants and spotlighting the teacher, so that the screen does not move between people. 
 
We're currently varying the timetable from week to week and we'd like to hear your feedback on what is on offer. We feel it's a fantastic opportunity to try different teachers, also. Here is the link for the timetable: Online Scheduler 
 
Currently, Julie B. is unfortunately unable to teach a class from home. She has kindly recorded a yoga nidra for you.  
 
Here is a link to her free recording:

Thank you for your continued loyalty and support, even during these uncertain times. Our hearts go out to all of you who have been affected by this unprecedented situation. We hope you, your family and your friends are safe and healthy.
 
Our vision is to continue to support our community as best as we can. We've now put together an extensive online schedule. These classes are with Equilibrium Teachers and streamed live. They are capped at 16 clients for the time being. We'd love to hear your feedback on the schedule, i.e. times you prefer, teachers you'd like to see and styles and levels offered.

Currently, the timetable is changing week by week. We've also amended our return and cancellation policy and made it more flexible, so that you are not missing out on the sessions you've already bought. Our amended terms and conditions can be found on our updated blog. 
 
At this time, we'd like to offer some pointers on setting up a safe space for doing yoga at home. These are recommendations and we understand that not all of them will work for you.

• Have at least 2 feet around your yoga mat if possible.
• Be free of any obstructions, so nothing can fall on you. No sharp corners or breakable objects near you.
• Practice on a level ground.
• Use a yoga mat, so you don't slip.
• When you step into your safe space, focus on you and your process. Leave the outside world behind you as much as this is possible right now.
• Consider using incense, gem stones or other objects to create your safe space.

 
See you on your cyber mat!
With love,
Sandra 

Updated 20th March 2020

Unfortunately, we will need to temporarily close our doors at both centres in Huntingdon and Peterborough. However, we have had our first very successful online session with Julie H. this evening. We streamed her 90 minute Forrest Yoga class directly to people's homes. Thank you all who joined.
 
There are two more online sessions available this weekend:  

• 10am Jivamukti with Janet: Info + Booking 
• 10am Forrest with Kate: Info + Booking 

 
The last in person class with be tomorrow with Janet. After that everything will be offered online. 
 
We'd love to see you in our online sessions. Technology, zoom, is easy to use. Once you've booked into a sessions, you'll be sent a link one hour prior to the start of the class. If you've never used zoom before, download the software and then log into the session 10 minutes prior to the start.  
 Just to remind you that we've updated our refund policy, which will be valid with immediate effect until 1st of May and be reviewed again at that point:

• We'll offer a full monetary refund on valid class passes and memberships in the form of a credit to your account. The refund is for any remaining classes or the pro-rate amount on the membership. There's no expiry date on the credit. It can be used for purchasing classes, workshops or products in person or over the phone once you feel more confident coming back.
• We'll offer a monetary refund on valid class passes and memberships straight into your bank account. This incurs a £7 admin charge. Please provide us with your bank details.
• We're waiving our 24 hour notice of cancellation policy. Classes can be cancelled free of charge at any point before the session starts. No shows and failure to cancel will incur the cost of the class.
• However, we will NOT be extending any class passes.

 
It's very easy to get swept up in fear and anxiety. It's therefore essential to get more, centred and to make a commitment to stay in one's body. It's a time to learn how to let go of control.  
​
Walk in beauty and with love 
Sandra  

Updated 19th March 2020

We wanted to give you a further update about the COVID-19 virus and the additional measures we've put into place.
 
We still feel that Equilibrium both in Peterborough and Huntingdon are spaces where we can get grounded and centred, which is even more essential in these times of fear, anxiety and uncertainty. As much as we should not underestimate the current situation, it's also paramount to stay in our bodies, to breathe, to take one step at a time and to stay out of overwhelm. It's a time to make warrior's choices about one's behaviour and attitudes and there is this incredible opportunity to re-assess our priorities.
 
In addition to what we've already put into place and communicated, here are some additional measures:

• We've reduced our timetable and capped the number of students in each class, so that you have more space around you (the recommended 6 feet) addressing the social distancing issue. The reduction in the timetable in Peterborough allows us to open the folding partition and create more room. All classes that are listed on mbo will go ahead as normal. We continually our scheduler, so please keep checking: Click here for up-to-date sessions.
•  We've started to put online sessions on the timetable, which are part of the membership deal and can also be attended using a valid class pass or by paying a drop-in fee. We'll be offering the classes via a platform called Zoom, which is easy to use on a mobile, tablet, desktop or laptop at home. We're starting with live sessions streamed directly to wherever you are. Please visit our updated timetable to book your space with the link above. Further information on how it works, can be found there. Our first live streaming will happen today Friday 20th of March at 6.15pm. We'll be streaming Julie H.'s Forrest Yoga class.
• We've updated our refund policy, which will be valid with immediate effect until 1st of May and be reviewed again at that point:

• We'll offer a full monetary refund on valid class passes and memberships in the form of a credit to your account. The refund is for any remaining classes or the pro-rate amount on the membership. There's no expiry date on the credit. It can be used for purchasing classes, workshops or products in person or over the phone once you feel more confident coming back.
• We'll offer a monetary refund on valid class passes and memberships straight into your bank account. This incurs a £7 admin charge. Please provide us with your bank details.
• We're waiving our 24 hour notice of cancellation policy. Classes can be cancelled free of charge at any point before the session starts. No shows and failure to cancel will incur the cost of the class.
• However, we will NOT be extending any class passes.

 
Let's all breathe together in these uncertain times, be kind to one another, be in our bodies and trust the process. Let's continue to create community, as it is in the relationship with one another where we can find support.  
 
Thank you all for your incredible support and encouraging messages. 
Walk in beauty and with love 
Sandra  

Updated 17th March 2020
​
We wanted to give everyone an update about the COVID-19 virus, there is a lot of uncertainty at this time but we wanted to assure you we are keeping a close eye on the developments of the Coronavirus and will continue to monitor the information and advice released by the UK Government and the World Health Organisation concerning the spread and containment of COVID-19.
 
At this point in time, we are going ahead with our schedule as normal, as we feel that our centres can provide a space to get grounded, centred and into our bodies when there is so much uncertainty around us.
 
We have compiled a list of points below that we would like students to follow whilst attending classes at Equilibrium, this list is also printed and on display at receptions.

• Please stay at home if you are feeling unwell or have returned from any high risk areas of infection as defined by WHO (World Health Organisation).

• Wash your hands more often than usual and for at least 20 seconds, using hot water and soap provided.
• Please bring your own props and mats to the studio. It's a good time to invest into your own equipment.
• We will still provide mats, blocks and belts. As always please clean any studio mats you have used after class thoroughly using the spray bottle provided then wiping down with a cloth, please place used clothes in towel basket. Do not put any mats away wet.
•  Should you need to blow your nose, sneeze or cough then use a tissue (there are always tissues in each studio) and immediately dispose of them in the bins provided in each studio. Do not put used tissues on the floor or window sills.
•  We will be cleaning more frequently, in particular cleaning counter tops, taps and door handles several times each day
•  We are in the process of providing hand sanitizer on reception that we encourage clients to use before and after class.
•  Teachers will not be carrying out hands on adjustments in class; they will give verbal instructions only.

 
Let's all breathe together in these uncertain times, be kind to one another, be in our bodies and trust the process.

Walk in beauty 
Sandra  ​

Since I have finished my personal psychotherapy sessions, my relationship to my two supervisors has become increasingly important. Regular supervision helps me to reflect about the work with my clients, but also about my own personal process and how I'm touched by my clients and what they stir up within me and mirror back to me. Unlike common belief that supervision is about the client, it's really about the teacher or therapist and their own process.
 
A couple of weeks ago, I felt ungrounded, overwhelmed and definitely not in my body. I felt that I was "failing" my clients and that I was not sure about what I was actually doing as a mentor and therapist. I had a session with my supervisor and I was asking him how I can "tackle the problems" some of my clients were experiencing. I was in the space of needing to find another "solution" for the problems that have been reoccurring - and I needed that solution fast. Metaphorically, my supervisor held up a pin and popped the balloon of busyness with a simple question: "So, there is somewhere to get to, Sandra?". In that moment I realised that I had fallen into the trap of needing to get somewhere and especially fast. I completely forgot that we are already here and that the only moment we have available is the present moment. By frantically trying to find a solution, I had also sent the subtle message to my clients that they need to be different to how they are right now. The fact is: they are whole human beings who simply disconnected from whom they truly are. I felt immediately lighter, more at ease and more embodied.
 
I feel that this approach is so beautifully summarised by Beisser (1970) in his article "The Paradoxical Theory of Change":
 
"Change occurs when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to become what he is not. Change does not take place through a coercive attempt by the individual or by another person to change him, but it does take place if one takes the time and effort to be what he is-to be fully invested in his current positions. By rejecting the role of change agent, we make meaningful and orderly change possible".
 
Be who you are fully and have your own back.
Walk in beauty.

The title "Under Construction" has been inspired by one of the people I work with.
 
One emerging theme I have been observing - within myself and my clients - has been the one of things being constructed, deconstructed and reconstructed at foundation level. In other words the process of being under construction has surfaced. This in turn has created a feeling of being uprooted, not fully grounded, and shaken up. Within that, there has been a sense of persistency, a feeling that everything has been intensified or in the words of one of my clients "magnified". Emotions are heightened and interactions are at times explosive. Relationships, communities and organisations have been tested, destroyed, solidified, re-defined and re-evaluated. Physical building structures and objects have been broken, deconstructed, rebuild, replaced and repaired.
 
Even though my personal intent is to stay present with at times a painful turmoil and an intense phase of structural change, my curiosity and excitement are also with the possibilities and openings that are being created through this foundational shift.
 
In the words of my supervisor: "What needs to be left behind and what needs to be brought forward?" What do we need to let go of and what is worth pursuing and fighting for, so we can bring it with us?
 
Walk in beauty,
Sandra  ​