Watching a recent video on you tube with Lisbeth and Ditte Marcher, I was struck by the notion of “Justice does not exist”, i.e. things are unfair at times. We develop a sense of just and unjust between the ages of 2 and 4 years old. It’s the time the child learns to make decisions and how to choose. The understanding of duality, such as good and bad, is being developed then. During that time, the ability to understand consequences is also established. In the video, both women make clear that choosing something means letting go of something else. In order to make decisions we need to fully embrace the consequences of that decision, including the fact that things might not be fair. We can get stuck in that developmental phase thinking that things are either black or white, fair or not fair. Subsequently, we have difficulties making decisions, because in reality there are no perfect choices. Sometimes the decision is between pest and cholera. 
 
I, personally, feel that this has so much relevance right now. My sense is that we really need to let go of the notion of justice and be real that we have choices, but that they might not be fantastically great. 
 
Where do you get trapped when making decisions? What happens within you when you get stuck in the position of “The world is unfair?”. 

In one of the sessions with my client, the word autonomy came up, which I have been reflecting on since. In Bodynamic, which is a form of body psychotherapy, the stage of autonomy is a developmental phase from 8 months to 2.5 years. It’s the time where we learn to keep our impulses whilst being in relationship. The question is “Who am I when in contact with another?”. One of the risks we are running is that we lose ourselves in the relationship. The challenge is to stay in contact with our own centre, power and feelings whilst being in relationship with another human being. It’s about an open heart without needing to shut down or abandon ourselves. 
 
I invite you to track when you lose connection to yourself, when you start to follow another person’s rhythm, pace and timing, thereby losing your own and when you give your power away in order to stay in contact. 

​One of the approaches I take as a yoga teacher and also psychotherapist is to pay attention to what is coming up. I follow what is emerging in the energetic field and my intent is to bring curiosity, acceptance and neutrality to it. It’s a very organic method of working led by the process vs. me trying to take control and direct things in a certain way, which is definitely a go to place of mine. I like certainty and I like to know where I’m heading. Yoga and Body Psychotherapy have taught and continue to teach me to stand in an empty room and wait. Instead of wanting to make things happen or having a pre-conceived idea where life takes me, I’m working on allowing the process to move through as it needs to. My intent is to hold space for the people I work with in exactly that way. And as my therapist used to say: It takes a lot of courage and nerve to stand in an empty room. It’s about creating space, not filling it back up and then waiting what is coming to the surface. In the current times with all the uncertainty, I feel this is more relevant than ever. 
 
What happens when you stand in an empty space? What are your go to places? What happens when there is space in your life?  

The overarching feelings for the last two to three weeks, in myself and my clients, have been overwhelm, exhaustion and anxiety. For me, lockdown provided quite a strong structure of what I could and could not do. The easing out of lockdown has brought more uncertainty and in some respects more headache, as things are so much more in flux and continuously shifting. Guidelines are not always clear, feelings are running high and sensitivities have been touched.
 
Ana Forrest is famous for saying: "Evolve or die". The nature of yoga studios is changing and we are moving towards a "hybrid model" of offering classes online and in-person at the same time. This means that yoga teachers and studios are required to teach differently, learn new skills and stay flexible in terms of what is possible. The ground is ever moving and there is a distinct lack of solidity.
 
My own experience at the moment is that my skin is very thin, I have a sense of being stripped bare and my connection to the ground is less present. I feel vulnerable and raw.
 
I also recognise that being stripped bare offers the opportunity to let go of the old and to make a conscious decision on how and what to move forward with. For me, it has been a very deliberate process of deciding what people to surround myself with and what relationships to free myself from. The shaky ground is an opportunity to create a new vision of Equilibrium and also of myself.
 
I'd like to thank all of you who supported me on my journey. Thank you all who supported Equilibrium Yoga Centres in the last 12 years, but especially the last 4 months.
​
Walk in beauty.
Sandra

Our Terms and Conditions have changed: IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ:
 

• For live streamed classes: Cancellations can be done free of charge until the start of the class. No shows must be paid for.
• For in-person sessions: We've made our policies more flexible to recognise the increased uncertainty that is currently present. We've reduced our cancellation period from 24 hours to 3 hours. Cancellations up to 3 hours before the start of the class are free of charge. With less than 3 hours, you will not be able to re-use your drop in or session from your pass. Members will incur a £3 charge for cancellations with less than 3 hours-notice or for a no-show. This is due to the very limited amount of spaces we have. No exceptions made.

 
Memberships: If you are currently a 12 monthly member and you'd like to cancel your membership, please contact us by 30th of July. You will be able to cancel your membership free of charge with immediate effect. After that, the regular terms and conditions apply to your membership, i.e. 12 monthly commitment or if you have been a member for 12 months already, a 30-day notice period.
 
We're currently unclear about mask regulations, so please bear with us and we will send you some further information once we have an update.
 
Our landscape has been continually changing and we're constantly reviewing best practices, governmental regulations, recommendations by UK Yoga Alliance and expert advice. Please bear with us as we are navigating this increasingly more complex terrain.
 
We very much feel that in these times yoga is an incredible tool to stay grounded and centred with strong boundaries enabling us to have compassion for others without losing ourselves.
 
We hope through these measures we will create an enjoyable experience for teachers, therapists and clients alike and provide a space where we can come back home to ourselves in a peaceful and restful way.
 
Our thanks go to all of you who supported us through this pandemic by showing up online and buying drop ins, memberships and passes. Thank you all also for your kind words and your encouragement during these challenging times.
 
Walk in beauty
Sandra

​This is a pre-announcement that we will be opening our doors both in Huntingdon and Peterborough on 25th of July. Please bear with us as we are finalising the timetable and processes, so that we can enjoy being at the centre safely and responsibly.  
 
We cannot wait to see you in person. We will continue with our live streamed classes, too, in case you can't or don't want to make it in person.  
 
Please bear with us as we are pulling all information together. You will get a very detailed update on Friday.
 
Huge thank you, as always, to all the people who have been supporting us.  
 
Walk in beauty
Sandra

This is what we've been busy working on:   
 

• We're getting the centres ready by planning one way systems through the buildings, signage, stations for hand sanitising, markings for mat spacing and cleaning plans.  
• We've been developing video on demand options where we create a library of recordings for a small monthly subscription that enables those of you who have been affected financially to continue yoga for a small fee. It will also allow those of you who can't make the scheduled times - for whatever reason - to still continue with your regular teachers.
• We've been creating a new timetable with new and existing teachers by taking into consideration the survey, availability of the teachers and logistics in terms of cleaning (there will be 30 minute gaps between sessions). We hope you find the new schedule inspiring, too.  
• We understand that some of you will be hesitant to return to the centres in person. We therefore will include live streamed sessions as part of the regular schedule. These sessions will be included in the memberships and can be paid for by using a 5 or 10 class pass or drop in. These live streamed sessions still give you the feeling of being in a class and you will receive plenty of individual feedback - assuming your camera is set up so we can see you. 

 
We will soon send out a second survey with a suggested timetable for you to review and comment on. We'd like your input. Please remember that the survey is anonymous. If you want us to know your name, please put it into the comment box or write to us separately: sandra@equilibriumyoga.co.uk  
 
Finally, thank you all for your very encouraging comments and constructive feedback. Thank you all who have been supporting us through this very difficult time by taking part in our live streamed and recorded sessions. Thank you all who have shown kindness through your words and actions. They have been very much appreciated. 
 
Walk in beauty
Sandra

Sometimes a week or days can be summarised by or explored through one word. For this and last week, this word has been "discernment" for me. It has come up for me in a session with my supervisor, who has trained in and taught a psychotherapeutic tradition that is based on Buddhism. One of the definition of discernment (not in the Buddhist sense, but in the broader sense) is "the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure" (Merriam Webster Dictionary). Other definitions include words like insight and being able to judge well and accurately. A lot of the work I have been doing is about understanding what is my real and authentic self and where am I stuck in my patterns. Sometimes being triggered, or in transference, can feel like reality. However, I know that when I take my time and importantly slow down, I can distinguish, i.e. discern, between my defences and coping mechanism and my real self, i.e. between what is the immediate and real experience and what I have fallen into, unconsciously.  
 
For me personally, when I'm in my pattern, there is a sense of urgency to do something, a feeling of not wanting to be with what is emerging and a desire to discharge the overwhelming emotions. This is often accompanied with a lack of grounding and thoughts that are in a constant loop. On the other hand, when I'm in contact with my authentic self and what is truly emerging within me vs. the secondary more interpretative energies that are often layered on top, I'm more centred, more grounded and slower. I am in contact with my centre and with what is real.
 
The art is to discern: what is real and what is made up; what is coming from the core and what is story.
 
Walk in beauty.
 
Sandra

​Brene Brown in her book "Rising Strong" talks about comparison as the killer of joy and creativity and I could not agree more. Endless hours of social media often leave me in a place of confusion, doubt and exhaustion. Part of my commitment to myself is therefore to limit my hours on social media platforms and become aware when I'm moving into comparing myself with others, highlighting other people's achievements, undermining mine and feeling therefore not good enough. I'd like to stress that this has nothing to do with what other people post; it's about my own process. The internal feeling is "I need to do more" and I experience it as a constriction in my chest and frequently my throat. It's in those moments if I can catch myself, be with the direct experience in the body and get out of the story, things shift. What has helped me before is to remind myself to "swim in my own lane", which is an expression Brene Brown coined. She uses swimming for joy and meditation. However in the past, when she synced her strokes with the person next to her, she almost injured herself. Swimming in my own lane for me means feeling into the questions of: What do I need? What brings me joy? What is my own rhythm of life? As a community, we connect through our similarities, but we thrive by making room for our differences. I invite you to make room for your own differences, have your own back and follow your own path. There is no blue print on how to move through these times right now. Be guided by your own feeling and intuition, be inspired by people around you, but stay away from comparing. 
 
We'd like to offer a free recording for this week again. With these free recordings we hope to support people who are financially in a difficult place right now and can't afford to come to live sessions or sign up for our recordings. But of course, it's for the enjoyment of everybody. Thank you Marta for your generosity in providing this class.

​Words and concepts that have been coming up over the last couple of week are: balance, paradox, juxtaposition, polar opposites, integration and abandonment. They are all qualities of the fourth chakra, the heart chakra, which is the middle point and the centre of the chakra system. Interestingly, on a physical level this chakra includes the heart and the lungs. According to Anodea Judith (Eastern Body, Western Mind), in the heart chakra we continue our individuation, i.e. our journey of finding ourselves and becoming who we are, by developing balance of the inner female and male, anima and animus. This is less about gender than about opposites forces that are residing in each of us. We all carry paradoxes: On the one hand we might want to really come out of the lock down, on the other hand, we might be scared of and tread it. Instead of needing to choose one over the other, Anodea Judith suggests that "the more we allow one kind of energy, the more the other can come through". It's not about either looking forward to OR being scared of it, it's about looking forward to AND being scared of it at the same time. Both are true and the work is to make room for the paradox, in that sense widening our identity and not abandoning parts of ourselves.
 
Thank you all who contributed to these reflections.
 
We hope that yoga enables you to expand and contain seemingly opposing aspects of yourself. Here is a free recording - thanks to Janet's generosity.