 Often when I get angry, my therapist points out that I have "abandoned myself". It's in those moments where I'm overtly angry at somebody else for crossing my boundaries or doing something I deem as unfair. However, what often lies underneath it all is that I have left myself and I'm not standing behind myself anymore. I'm not giving myself the backing I need and also deserve. That's the moment where the anger rises; it's in reaction to my abandonment.
When I do catch it, I find it useful to explore all the subtle ways I'm blaming myself for the situation. In those instances, I often don't like myself and find it hard to bring compassion towards my own process - something I teach to my students, but invariable fail to do so myself. This process is very subtle and I have to really sit with the feelings to uncover the deeper layers of it all. I encourage you to feel into your anger the next time it arises and feel for the ways you might be not giving yourself the support you need and deserve. Stand behind yourself no matter what! Move into your heart space and feed yourself from that place.
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 In Forrest Yoga when we call in the Four Direction, which is a way of calling on the support of the allies in the East, South, West and North, the element of water is located in the South. The qualities of the South are innocence, trust, healing and playfulness.
Like any of the elements, water can be on the one hand a very gentle and persistent force bringing about change slowly and being crucial for survival. It follows the path of least resistance as it flows down the mountains. Over time it shapes and softens rocks. On the other hand water can be incredibly powerful bringing about transformational changes within seconds and minutes. Torrents of water in flash floods for example transform the landscape forever and can create devastation and death. I invite you to bring the qualities of water into your life embracing and enjoying the quieter transformational changes, as well as the rapid, immediately powerful and more dramatic ones. Allow both softness and strength to be present within yourself and flow with what is. |
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